Let me paint you a picture. It’s 9:07 AM on a Monday morning. I’ve barely logged into Slack, still deciding whether I want to respond to the 38 unread emails or microwave my cold brew (don’t judge me), when a message pops up:

Welcome to HR. Or as I like to call it: High-key Resilience.

Because let’s be real — this job requires a mix of professional diplomacy, emotional neutrality, and the patience of a saint with a caffeine addiction.

The Myth of the HR Oracle

People assume HR folks are these calm, emotionally balanced unicorns who glide through conflict, sip empathy for breakfast, and drop nuggets of wisdom like a budget Brené Brown.

No. Sometimes we’re just trying to figure out if we have enough strength to attend back-to-back meetings without muting ourselves to scream into a pillow. Sometimes we cry in the bathroom too. Sometimes, we are this close — THIS CLOSE — to replying “lol ok” to a harassment complaint.

But we don’t. Because we are professionals.

And we care. A lot. Sometimes too much.

People Bring Their Whole Selves to Work. Even the Messy Parts!

You want the truth? People don’t just bring their skills and goals to work. They bring the divorce they’re going through, the unresolved childhood trauma, the sick pet they had to leave at home, the fight they had with their partner at 8:22 AM.

And guess who’s the first door they knock on? HR. The mythical neutral zone. The “safe space.”

And look, I’m honored. I really am. But here’s the thing — HR professionals are not trained psychologists. We’re not therapists. We didn’t go to med school. We didn’t write a thesis on Attachment Styles and Organizational Behavior. We read a 236-page policy doc and know how to calculate your taxable bonus in Excel.

But when things go sideways, people want more than compliance — they want compassion.

A Week in the Life of HR: A Dramatic Reading

Let me take you through a fictional (but also, very not fictional) week in HR:

Monday: Someone sobs in the break room because their manager said, “We’ll talk later” in a Slack message. I talk them down while also scheduling a training session for the same manager on “Communicating Like a Human Being 101.”

Tuesday: A team wants to bring their dog to work as an emotional support animal. Another team member is deathly allergic. Now I’m the United Nations of canine diplomacy.

Wednesday: Someone’s been ghosting their team for three days. We finally hear from them. They say they’re burnt out. They also want to apply for an internal transfer to a team that doesn’t use Jira. I nod like I have control over that.

Thursday: A mid-level manager says, “We need to fire him. He’s just too negative.” I say, “Cool. Let’s start with documentation.” They vanish like smoke.

Friday: An employee shows up to our 1:1 with a matcha latte, teary eyes, and says, “This isn’t work-related but… can I tell you something personal?”

And you know what? They always can. Because we’ll listen.

Even when we’re tired. Even when we’re trying to hit the quarterly compliance checklist. Even when our own cup is running on empty.

HR Burnout Is Real (But Rarely Talked About)

You hear a lot about employee burnout. You hear about leaders getting coaching. You know who gets left behind in all those wellness drives and mental health webinars?

Your HR team.

Because we’re the ones organizing them. Designing the workshops. Writing the damn comms. And quietly spiraling in the background because someone didn’t show up to their PIP meeting — again.

HR burnout is different. It’s not just about too much work. It’s emotional overload. It’s being the office sponge. It’s knowing 26 people’s career struggles, 5 people’s trauma stories, and which two people are secretly dating — and still showing up with a smile and saying, “Hi! Just checking in on your goals this quarter.”

When HR Becomes Emotional Labor

Let me be clear: I love people. I love helping them navigate work-life chaos. I love being a trusted sounding board.

But when the emotional labor isn’t recognized, supported, or shared — it becomes unsustainable. Because empathy isn’t infinite. Because compassion fatigue is real. And because being the company’s “emotional mop” is not a job role listed in our JDs.

What Needs to Change (And No, It’s Not Just More Pizza Fridays)

If we want HR to keep showing up for people, we need to:

1. Normalize boundaries for HR too. Just like everyone else, we need protected time. We need to be able to say, “I can’t talk right now.” Without guilt.

2. Include HR in wellness programs. Ironic how we’re the last to get coached or cared for. Invite us to those mental health check-ins. Actually check in.

3. Train managers better. Half of what lands in HR could be prevented if people managers had basic empathy and conflict resolution skills. HR should not be a manager’s crutch.

4. Hire actual mental health professionals. If your company size and budget allow, have counselors or therapists available. HR can support, but we shouldn’t replace therapy.

5. Stop glamorizing “emotional intelligence” as infinite labor. Yes, EQ is important. But it’s not a free pass to dump feelings on HR endlessly. Emotional labor is still labor.

So What Do We Want?

We want to continue helping. We want to be the ones you come to — but not the only ones. We want to laugh with you in the lunchroom and advocate for you in performance reviews. We want to humanize HR. But we need to be human too.

So next time you’re about to say, “Can I vent to you for 5 mins?” — maybe ask:

Because trust me, we want to listen. But sometimes, we need someone to listen to us too.

And no, we don’t get hazard pay for emotional trauma.

Yet.

TL/DR (for the skimmers)

• HR is not therapy, but often plays the role.
• Emotional labor is real and can lead to burnout.
• HR needs boundaries, support, and a break from being the office sponge.
• If you love your HR folks, let them breathe. Or at least bring them a muffin.